Through the Window

I am watching you walk
across the backyard
wearing those
shorts I like, snug in
all the right places.
From the kitchen, my eyes
peruse, snatch pictures
of you to use later.

Other me is watching me
from the dining room.
Summer sunlight slides
through window panes.
It is mid-afternoon,
my stomach queasy
seeing my own desire.
You are not mine, nor
do I really want you, the
actual person, I really just 
want the shell, the body
to play with, experiment,
figure myself out.

You are a step-man,
married to my Mom.
I am a boy who sits
in the Kingdom Hall
split in two on Sunday
mornings and Thursday
nights. My kind a virus
that threatens to invade.

Our mouths go dry
as we watch you
walk down the hill.

Appreciation

Appreciate that you don’t have children.

Even during these days, you wake up, look outside your Brooklyn window.

It is raining.

The planet spins on its axis, wobbles a bit. It is quieter now.

You should appreciate that time is nothing anymore.

You are safe, taken care of.

The books have always been neatly stacked on the floor.

Still can’t choose a bookcase.

The bed seduces you again.

“The life of Riley” is what Grandpa always said. The hills he walked in snow.

You should appreciate the fact that you go around collecting people. At least,

You used to out on those streets coerced into being yours. You don’t remember

How you did it.

Owned by your body and not someone else’s.

Pace and sigh. You’ll get out of here some day.

Bakar Wilson has received fellowships from Cave Canem, the Squaw Valley Community of Writers, and the Colgate Writers’ Conference. He has performed his work at the Bowery Poetry Club, Poetry Project, The Studio Museum of Harlem, The Asian-American Writer's Workshop, and the Langston Hughes House, among others. His poetry has appeared in The Vanderbilt Review, The Lumberyard Radio Magazine, The Brooklyn Rail, Flicker and Spark: A Contemporary Queer Anthology, The Ostrich Review, and thekenyonreview.org, among others. A native of Memphis, Tennessee, Bakar received his B.A. in English from Vanderbilt University and his M.A. in Creative Writing from The City College of New York. He is an Adjunct Lecturer of English and Creative Writing at Borough of Manhattan Community College at CUNY.

Picture from Queer Icons by Gabriel García Román.