Jessica Kashiwabara

Two Women Board

On the subway 
one morning
I am not thinking of
my mother
her frail body
before her death

her papery skin
her pained eyes
our last kiss
I am only thinking of
the day ahead
when the doors open wide

two women board
one smaller and more bent
a cane in her hand
the other younger and taller 
her arms strong
leading the way

I am sitting alone in
a seat meant for two
so I stand
waving my hand
to offer a place
for them to rest

I assume they are
mother and daughter
the way they
are so familiar

for a time 
every older Asian woman
on the street
walking upright
with shining eyes
I wish to be my mother

today I do not 
see my mother
in this woman
but in her tenderness 

the daughter 
leans her head 
on her mother’s shoulder
still strong enough to
bear it

they sit side by side
arms locked
and I hold tight 
onto the cold 
steel bar above

keeping my own balance
holding my own weight

Watching Wheel of Fortune

with my 82-year-old father
I grow tired of each contestant
forced to project how
perfect and sunny their lives are
with their wonderful and supportive husband of 18 years
and their two beautiful grandchildren
even as Pat Sajak mispronounces
their names and thanks
John Smith for having an easy one

What would it be like if
a contestant had no family
no one waiting for them
to run down from the stands
to grab onto and jump up and down
like kangaroos when they win a new car?
Would the audience still cheer?

My father switches the channel to 
the latest sumo match
now this makes sense
two opponents crash and shove
no fiancé waves from the stands
no words are exchanged
the wrestlers grab onto each other
shuffle and search for weakness
one is thrown off balance
out of the ring and the match is over
the audience cheers

Jessica Kashiwabara is a web editor at Poets & Writers, as well as a cofounder of the Jasper Collective. She has written for SPIN, the New York Amsterdam News, and on mental health for the Child Mind Institute. Jessica has read for Lost Lit and The Unpublished reading series and was recently published in Volume 1 Brooklyn. She is currently at work on a collection of personal essays.

Photo credit to Richard Louissant.